


what if i need you (in my darkest hour?);

by unintentionallyangsty



Series: let all be quiet (in your head); [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Brodinsons, Brother Feels, Brotherhood, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Memories, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Thor (Marvel), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, The Statesman, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: A few weeks into a seemingly seamless transition into life on theStatesman, a restless and fearful Loki finally breaks.And, though Thor does not quite understand what he's working with, he tries to mend the situation, all the same.(Angst/Fluff Prompts #89 and #12 Fill: "I'm not gonna hurt you." / "Please don't do this.")
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: let all be quiet (in your head); [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116422
Comments: 14
Kudos: 166





	what if i need you (in my darkest hour?);

**Author's Note:**

> Loki & Thor. the _Statesman_. written for the Angst/Fluff Prompts #89 and #12 Fill: "I'm not gonna hurt you." / "Please don't do this."
> 
> **chapter warnings !:** self-harm, attempted self-harm, blood, suicidal ideation, & anxiety attacks. please stay safe !
> 
> (again, brief reminder that each story within this series is unrelated/non-linear. unless otherwise stated, this is a series of unrelated one-shots and nothing more. enjoy!)

Loki was getting tense. 

Thor noted the fact as he rubbed wearily at his good eye, and surveyed where his brother was sat, ramrod straight, at the other end of the long table the few that remained of Asgard’s council were gathered around. 

It wouldn’t have been obvious to anyone at first glance, he would admit, though Thor was able to see the tightness that had begun to take up residence around Loki’s eyes and mouth, or the way his eyes had begun to flicker uncertainly about the room, as if searching for something he couldn’t quite see. 

The sight made something within Thor twist unpleasantly, and even as he nodded absently along to something Heimdall was reporting, he continued to study his brother out of the corner of his eye. 

Loki had been doing well, he’d thought. Or, at the very least, he had hoped. 

It had been a rough few first weeks aboard the _Statesman_ , sure. They were all picking up double, sometimes triple duty, attempting to get what remained of their kingdom sorted and settled aboard the ship for what was bound to be a long and tedious series of months spent traveling in quarters far too tight for anyone’s total comfort. 

Even still, Thor had noted with some pleasure, Loki had begun to settle into his role within the council with relative ease, stepping forward and offering assistance or advice when he thought it applicable, to Thor’s delight. He kept mainly to himself, which came as little surprise to anyone, though over the past week he had seemed more open to the efforts at conversation Thor, the Valkyrie and, on occasion, even Bruce had made. 

The idea that they might be making progress, that Loki might actually be planning on sticking around for good, this time, caused something within Thor’s stomach to flutter pleasantly. Hadn’t this, after all, been what he had dreamed of half his youth? Ruling Asgard with Loki remaining unfalteringly at his side, offering welcome counsel and companionship? 

True, the stakes had changed a little, though Thor found that his enthusiasm could not quite be quelled, even in the face of such a shift. Loki being here was a miracle in itself, and Loki being willing to step in and offer support in those first few, tremulous weeks felt, to Thor, like a harbinger of very good things to come. 

Which, of course, made Loki’s apparent tension now all the more worrying. 

“Your Highness?” 

Thor blinked, and fought the urge to flush when he noticed most of the eyes in the room trained on him expectantly, several brows raised in question. 

Most of the eyes, save Loki’s, who was frowning down at the sheet of paper on the table before him with a troubled expression. 

“I apologize?” Thor cleared his throat, and forced himself to turn his attention back to where Heimdall was sat to his right. 

As Heimdall repeated his report on the stores of food they would have at their disposal before there would arise a need for them to stop and purchase supplies (not great), Thor willed his attention to remain on the conversation at hand. 

Eventually, the meeting came to a rather inconclusive end (they were travelling on the assumption of too many unknowns for it to have ended on anything but, currently), and Thor hastily stood in preparation to cross the room to his brother’s side, before his attention could be apprehended, once more. 

“It’s three months.” Loki informed, quietly enough that none but Thor might have heard him, as soon as Thor came to a stop beside his chair. 

Thor frowned at the unexpected greeting. “What?” 

“Until we’ll need to refuel.” Loki elaborated distractedly, and plucked one of the papers from the pile before him to press discreetly into Thor’s hand. “You missed that.” 

Thor felt his brow furrow, though one glance at the paper he’d been handed confirmed that he had, indeed, been too lost in his own thoughts to catch the information when it had been shared during the meeting. 

Thor felt a wave of appreciation well within him at the thought, and turned to shoot his brother a warm smile. 

“Thank you.” he murmured, and leaned forward in an attempt to catch Loki’s gaze where it was still trained on the table. 

“Not a problem.” Loki dismissed with a small sniff, before standing abruptly and turning toward the door. 

Thor faltered, slightly thrown by the short behavior, and felt the smile fall from his face when Loki continued to avoid looking at him directly. 

In fact, this close, he was able to see the tension in the muscles of Loki’s neck and shoulders, and the way he seemed to be clenching his jaw ever so slightly. 

His eyes were bloodshot, Thor noted as a small, familiar band of worry began to wind its way around his lungs, and the circles beneath them seemed to have grown slightly darker, in the past few days. 

“What?” Loki snapped, his focus seemingly on straightening the pile of papers in his arms. 

Thor did flush, then, realizing that he had allowed himself to become distracted enough that he’d been caught staring, though he quickly shook himself. 

“Nothing.” Thor replied immediately. “It’s just--You seem weary, brother.” 

If anything, Loki only stiffened further at the words, and he took a moment to inhale a long breath through his nose before replying. 

“I’m well.” he informed, his tone held low and clipped, though Thor noted the way he seemed to hunch in on himself ever so slightly, his gaze anxiously tracking the movements of Heimdall and the Valkyrie as they walked past in order to exit the room. 

“‘Well’ and ‘alright’ are often not the same.” Thor replied, when they were alone. 

“I’m _alright_ , then.” Loki snapped, and finally turned to shoot him a sharp look. “What does it matter?” 

“It matters because I’m concerned about you!” Thor growled and, when he noticed that both his hands had balled into frustrated fists, inhaled slowly before forcing himself to relax. 

The fact that Loki seemed to track the movement carefully, his shoulders tensing a notch further, was hardly encouraging.

“I only want to make sure that you’re doing well.” Thor continued, after another beat of silence. 

At the words, Loki sneered unpleasantly. 

“Of course.” he drawled, his tone icy in a way that had Thor tensing automatically. “Because anything else might end unpleasantly.” 

Thor frowned. “That’s not what I said.” 

“There was no need.” Loki snarled, “The implication was there.” 

“No!” Thor cried, and growled slightly when Loki’s sharp, unpleasant smile only widened. “I’m only asking because I care.” 

“About your people, perhaps!” Loki shot back, immediately. “About your _precious_ kingdom.” 

“What?” Thor shook his head in bewilderment. “Loki, you’re not making sense--” 

“Perhaps you just haven’t made the effort to understand!” Loki interrupted with a hiss, his cheeks flushed and chest rising and falling unsteadily as he seemed to almost waver in place. 

At the words, Thor paused, and shook his head again with a frown when it seemed that his brother wasn’t going to continue. 

“Loki,” he began, not at all liking the way Loki seemed to flinch slightly when he did. 

He extended an arm and, not missing the way Loki’s eyes immediately snapped to follow the movement, reached out to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. 

As it turned out, Thor’s fingertips had not so much as brushed the skin at Loki’s neck before Loki was jolting backward with a sharp inhale and an almost animalistic snarl. 

“ _Don’t_ touch me!” he spat and, when Thor did not immediately drop his arm, staggered back another two steps. 

There was a beat as the two studied each other warily, Thor’s arm slowly retracting back to his side as Loki’s harsh breaths echoed in the otherwise empty room. 

After another moment, Thor inhaled slowly. “Loki--” 

“ _Don’t_!” Loki hissed, swallowing and shaking his head slightly, almost as if to clear it, before he straightened and pointedly averted his gaze, again. 

“Don’t.” he repeated, lowly, before turning on one heel and stalking out of the room, entirely. 

Thor forced himself to remain motionless as he watched him disappear around the corner, fingernails biting into his palms as the conversation whirled sickeningly through his mind. 

There was little chance of his seeing Loki again that evening, he realized dismally, and therefore no chance of their solving this. 

Whatever _this_ was. 

With a sigh, Thor allowed another moment to pass before he strode forward to exit the room himself, his stomach turning over on itself in worry. 

There was, after all, some truth to what Loki had said. 

If his mood _had_ turned, it wasn’t bound to turn out well for anyone.

\---

The first thing Thor was aware of as he slowly awoke the following morning was that he was alone in his chambers. 

Which, he would concede, was not necessarily unusual. Loki tended to rise before he did and, if he had slept particularly late, the Valkyrie and Bruce would have likely already gone to breakfast, as well. 

He cast his memory back, trying to remember if he had spoken with any of the three the evening before, and found with minor surprise that he couldn’t remember having even noted that they were present in the room, when he had stumbled to bed late the night before. 

True, the ship’s “artificial daylight” illumination system had long been shut down for the evening, by the time Thor had finished his seemingly endless list of duties for the day and begun to find his way wearily back to his chambers, leaving their chambers dark enough that he had not been able to tell whether or not anyone else had been present, when he’d collapsed into bed and promptly fallen asleep. 

Perhaps the Valkyrie had simply fallen asleep in the ship’s bar again, and hadn’t made it back the evening before. Bruce too, had a habit of holing himself up in the makeshift lab they had created for him in one of the ship’s unused storerooms, and not coming to bed sometimes until the next morning had already begun. 

And, though the dimness of the lights now suggested that the system had not been booted back up more than five minutes before, it was not unheard of for Loki to have risen earlier than that, in an attempt to get a headstart on his task list for the day. 

It would have been an eerily coincidental series of occurrences, Thor would concede, for all three to have happened in sequence. However, he had long since grown accustomed to the truth that stranger things had happened, and quickly made peace with his own lack of insight, for the time being. 

The thought firmly in mind, Thor muffled a yawn behind the back of his hand, and turned to swing both legs over the side of his bed, his weary joints groaning in protest at the idea of rising so early, himself. 

Nevertheless, Thor forced himself to stand, and made to cross the room to where he had hastily tossed his armor into the corner the evening before, only to hesitate when his eye caught on the bedrolls at the opposite end of the room. 

As per usual, the Valkyrie and Bruce’s were little more than haphazard piles of blankets and cushions, messy enough that it was nearly impossible to determine whether or not they had been inhabited, the evening before. 

It was the sight of Loki’s roll, however, tucked carefully against the wall a good distance away from both the other two and Thor’s own bed, that drew Thor up short. 

The bedroll was pristinely made, as always, with the blankets neatly folded and the single pillow perched atop. Unless he was driven from the room on an errand too urgent to wait, Loki made an effort to organize his bed similarly each morning. 

Similarly, Thor thought in dawning realization, but not identically. And the way the bedroll was arranged now was a mirror image of the morning before. 

It hadn’t been touched. 

With a small, weary groan, Thor surged forward and quickly began dressing, his mind already frantically flipping through the list of potential places on the ship ( _please still be on the ship,_ ) where Loki might have disappeared to. 

Before Thor could work himself entirely into a state, the door behind him slid open, and he turned to face where the Valkyrie was staggering into the room, her hair half-mussed and dark circles beneath her eyes. 

Damn. 

“Majesty,” she greeted with a small tilt to her head that Thor found himself unable to return. “We have a problem.” 

\---

“The sounds started about 15 minutes ago.” Val was saying as she led Thor down one of the _Statesman’s_ many long, narrow corridors, the clip of their boots echoing dimly against the metal of the walls. “Bruce was in his lab near the storeroom and heard ‘em first. Said it started with some crashing.” 

Thor swallowed past the nervous churning of his stomach, and hastened to catch up with Val’s quick stride.

“And you--” 

“He got me first.” Val interrupted quickly. “Said he didn’t want to wake you, but…” she trailed off, before halting so suddenly Thor nearly collided with her back. 

“Look,” Val began, and turned on her heel to peg Thor with a long look. “I don’t wanna freak you out, but it’s definitely him.”

Thor swallowed again, and forced himself to nod. “Loki.” he replied, though he knew the answer well enough. 

Val returned his nod and heaved a small sigh. 

“We weren’t sure, at first.” she continued, after a moment, “But then the screaming started and...well. It’s pretty distinguishable.”

Thor’s stomach rolled again at the idea of Loki holed up in one of the back storerooms, screaming himself hoarse and--

Well, Val had said _crashing_. 

“Anything else?” he continued, clearing his throat when the words came out somewhat choked. 

Val nodded again. “We tried to get in, but the door’s either barred or locked.” she glanced away and muttered, “Probably some magic shit.” 

“Right,” Thor croaked. “Did--Did he say anything?” 

“Nothing.” Val replied immediately, before huffing again and crossing her arms loosely over her chest. “We knocked. Yelled a bit, but he seemed pretty...inconsolable.” 

It took a moment for the words to register, but once they did Thor felt a sort of cold terror wash over him. 

It did not, however, arrive without an accompanying, stinging bite of determination. 

With a sharp inhale, Thor straightened to his full height and nodded in the direction of the corridor over Val’s shoulder. 

“Take me to him.” he declared, the words caught somewhere between a command and a plea. 

Seeming to understand the nuance, Val grit her teeth before turning quickly to continue leading Thor down the hall. 

Despite the speed of their steps, it was another five minutes before the two reached the end of another long hall, at which point Val slowed again, an almost hesitant expression briefly crossing her features. 

“You sure you’re up for this?” she inquired, not quite turning to meet Thor’s eye. 

For a moment, only silence answered her, before a muffled _thud_ sounded from around the corner. 

“Do I have a choice?” Thor muttered, before striding forward and past where Val was still stood so that he could turn the corner into the next corridor. 

The first thing Thor noticed was Bruce, standing at the end of the hall with his back pressed against the wall, and his hands tightened into tense fists. 

“Thor!” he cried, as soon as he caught sight of them, and hastened forward so that he was stood directly before Thor, reaching out to grasp at his elbows with a grip slightly too tight to be considered quite casual. 

“Are you alright?” Thor inquired, and raised a hand to fall upon Bruce’s tense shoulder in turn. 

“Sure,” Bruce shook his head slightly. “Or, uh, I will be. But, um. It went pretty quiet in there a couple minutes ago. I’m not sure what’s up.” 

Thor stomach gave a sickening drop at the words, though he forced himself to remain impassive even as he nodded jerkily and tightened his grip on Bruce’s shoulder before letting go and taking a step back. 

“Thank you, Banner.” he turned to face where Val was falling to a stop beside the two of them. “Valkyrie.” 

“You want us to go in with you?” Val pressed, though it was hard to miss the reluctance behind the words. 

Thor gave a small shake of his head. 

“No,” he replied, “In fact, it’s probably better if you aren’t here, at all.” 

“We’re not leaving!” Val protested immediately, and Bruce gave an emphatic nod. 

A sudden, near overwhelming wave of gratefulness rose within Thor for a moment, though he was quick to continue, “Thank you, my friends, but I truly think that this is something better settled between Loki and myself without audience.” 

The words were spoken confidently enough, but a trill of uncertainty rang at the back of Thor’s mind, all the same. 

If this was a product of the fight he and Loki had had the evening before, that was one thing. He knew how to handle Loki’s moods following their squabbles (or, at the very least, he hoped that he did). But, if this was something else entirely… 

Unwilling to delay another moment, Thor raised a hand to silence his friends’ arguments and tacked on a hasty, “Please.” 

It seemed to do the trick. After another long moment of silence, Bruce nodded, and took a step back as if in respect. 

The Valkyrie took a few seconds longer, though she finally acquiesced as well, and glanced away with a small, barely there shrug. 

“Be careful.” she warned, before turning to follow an already retreating Bruce down the corridor. 

It felt wrong, Thor considered. He had never wished for his close friends to treat him with such careful subservience, and the idea that his “commands” might have held such power sickened him unexpectedly. 

Nevertheless, Thor forced these thoughts aside, and turned quickly to approach the door that Bruce had been facing, his pulse beginning to race and throat tightening as he faced the seemingly immovable metal. 

“Loki?” he called, the word echoing jarringly in the now empty hall. “Loki, are you still there?” 

No sense feigning indifference, he reasoned. Loki had probably known that he was coming before he had even arrived. 

When silence was his only reply, Thor called again, “Loki! Brother, answer me.” 

He reached out, not so foolish as to expect a change, to shove manually at the door. 

Unsurprisingly, it did not budge, and Thor fell back with a huff after another few moments spent trying. 

“At least let me know that you’re in there.” he demanded, frustration already welling at the back of his throat. “Loki, please.” 

There was a beat, before Thor felt a shift, subtle but distinct. 

He could not quite pinpoint what it was. The space behind the door remained as silent as it had been, and the corridor just as empty. But still… 

Something had changed. 

His breath caught in his chest, Thor took a tentative step forward, reaching again for the metal of the door--

Before his eye fell upon the keypad beside it. 

Locked, the Valkyrie had told him. Probably disabled for good, if Thor knew Loki at all. 

But, on the off chance… 

Without allowing himself to consider the decision too closely, Thor fell forward and quickly punched the buttons on the keypad that might normally grant him entry. 

To his utter surprise, there was a hiss, before the door he stood facing slid open to reveal a storeroom in total disarray. 

Thor froze, his mouth falling into a slight gape as he took in the utter chaos on the other side of the door. 

Whatever function the room had once served, it served no longer. Directly across from Thor sat what he assumed had once been a large, wooden crate, though it was little more than a pile of splinters, now. 

There was an old sofa at the corner of the room, though what remained was a few, tattered cushions that seemed to have been ripped to shreds by a set of razor sharp claws. 

Quelling the horror Thor could feel beginning to churn within his stomach, now, he took a step further into the room, noting immediately the other, smaller crates that sat further in the shadows, and had clearly received similar treatment to the first. 

“Loki?” Thor called, then cursed his own incapability and repeated, louder, “Loki!” 

A sound answered him, quiet enough that Thor might have missed it, had he not slowed to a stop not seconds before. 

It was there, however, and Thor’s heart seized painfully when he was able to identify exactly what it was. 

Harsh, uneven breaths being drawn, held, and drawn again, as if whoever or whatever it was breathing couldn’t quite catch their breath or keep themselves silent. 

With a rough exhale of his own, Thor surged forward, fear and determination both speeding his step as he rounded one of the shattered crates to peer into the shadowy corner of the room. 

For a brief moment, Thor froze again, his pulse stuttering to a halt, before a hoarse, fearful cry rose unbidden at the back of his throat, and he fell forward to grip Loki by both arms. 

Loki, who was sitting crouched in the shadows and shaking visibly as he held one sharp, glinting blade not inches above his own wrist. 

“What are you thinking?!” Thor bellowed, and shook his brother so forcefully the tiny dagger went flying from his grip and skittered noisily somewhere into the darkness. “What the hell are you _thinking_?!” 

For one long, terrifying moment, Loki was horribly still, lolling within Thor’s grip as he continued to shake him. 

Then, the moment passed, and a brief glint of fury lit Loki’s gaze as he began to writhe forcefully within Thor’s grasp. 

“Get off!” he snapped, lurching with such force Thor nearly lost his grip. “Get the _fuck_ off of me, you cur.” 

“Loki,” Thor snapped, his heart hammering so quickly he was nearly dizzy with the force of it, and shook his brother roughly again. “Loki, enough!” 

“You miserable son of a whore.” Loki whispered feverishly. “You--you piss-rotted, festering corpse. Son of a _beast--_ ” 

With a cry, Loki jerked back again, this time with enough leverage to strike the side of his head against the metal of the wall behind with a disheartening _thud_. 

“Loki,” Thor whispered in horror as he watched blood well at his brother’s temple, before it trickled down into his eye and over one sharp cheekbone. “ _Loki_.”

Loki blinked, seeming almost stunned, before he shook himself visibly and turned to release a hiss, his nose inches from Thor’s own. 

“Beast,” he repeated, “ _Monster_. Release me. Release me!” he let out an inhuman sort of roar, then, spittle flying from his lips and hitting Thor’s face, before he fell forward, bent awkwardly at the waist, to continue wailing into his knees. 

“Let me go.” Loki murmured, and released another, muted wail. “Let me _go_. Let me go, letmegoletmegoletmego--” 

Almost automatically, Thor drew back, and hesitated another moment before abruptly releasing Loki’s now violently trembling arms, his pulse nearly roaring in his ears as he watched Loki collapse further in on himself with a shudder. 

“No more.” Loki whispered, and shifted so that his face was tucked almost entirely behind his knees. “No more.” 

“Loki,” Thor breathed, and moved forward so that his palms were hovering inches over his brother’s shoulders. “I--I’m not going to hurt you.” 

At the words, Loki stilled so suddenly that he seemed to have stopped breathing entirely, and Thor decided to take the brief window of opportunity for what it was. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” he repeated, taking care to keep his tone at a low murmur. “Nobody is. Nobody’s going to hurt you, Loki.” he paused, then added, “Not anymore.” 

Thor didn’t know the circumstances behind the brief bouts of paranoia he’d witnessed from Loki, nor did he fully understand why his brother had disappeared a prince, and come back a year later a twisted, snarling sort of creature Hel-bent on blood and revenge.

He did, however, know that there were things that his brother was hiding from him. 

He also knew that whatever had occurred in that interim was unpleasant enough to will Loki into an odd, fearful sort of silence--a sequence of words Thor never would have associated with Loki, at one point. 

Somehow, however, when Thor had not been paying attention, it had become almost the norm. 

Thor was drawn roughly back to the present when Loki shuddered mightily beneath him, and tensed, briefly, before falling abruptly limp and pitching toward the floor. 

Had Thor not been paying as much attention as he was, Loki might have hit the ground and struck his opposite temple. 

As it was, Thor surged forward with just enough time to catch his brother’s slack form in his arms, and fell back to sit on the ground with Loki cradled against his shoulder. 

“Loki?” Thor cried immediately, and shook his brother (gently, now) before repeating, “Loki, please.” 

When Loki’s eyes remained closed, the lids fluttering madly, Thor inhaled a tremulous breath and pulled him tighter against himself. 

“Please don’t do this.” he whispered, and could not bring himself to feel ashamed when a stray tear streaked down his cheek. “Please.” 

For another long, unbearable beat of a moment, Thor continued to hold his breath, and Loki continued to lie limp against his side, his breaths short and shallow. 

Then, miraculously, the figure curled against Thor shifted, and he had only a minute to steel himself and glance down, before Loki was shifting again, a grimace tightening his features as he did so. 

“Wh--” Loki faltered, and coughed harshly into one elbow before seeming to register where he was, and who he was pressed against. 

It was, therefore, to Thor’s (not unpleasant) surprise that Loki seemed to hesitate only a brief moment more, before he all but collapsed against Thor’s shoulder, his breaths held low and carefully even. 

“I--” he began, only to clear his throat, his gaze held carefully trained on the far wall, before he attempted again, “I don’t--” 

To Thor’s horror, Loki’s breath hitched, before it began to speed slightly, his eyes taking on a wide, wild sort of edge. 

“Hey,” Thor soothed, automatically beginning to rock the both of them frantically back and forth. “Hey, no. It’s alright, Lo. Breathe.” 

Loki struggled another moment, his breath faltering frighteningly again, before he inhaled a short, unsteady sort of breath, and the corners of his eyes grew wet. 

“I’m sorry.” he breathed. Then, louder, “I’m sorry!” 

“Shh.” Thor raised a hand to run it as gently as he could through Loki’s curls. “Shush. You have nothing to apologize for.” 

If anything, Loki’s features only twisted further at the words, and he barked another cough before shifting so that his face was, more or less, hidden in Thor’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” he repeated, as if Thor had not spoken at all. “I’m sorry. I’m _sorry--_ ” 

“Loki!” Thor interrupted, the hand not tangled in Loki’s locks reaching out to grip at his hand--

His hand, Thor realized with a sickening jolt, that was beaten and bloodied at the knuckles. 

The world spun dizzyingly around him for a moment, and Thor had to take a moment to simply breathe, his nose half-pressed against Loki’s clammy forehead, before he turned to survey the fragmented, shattered remains of the crates in the storeroom. 

“Oh, Loki.” he whispered, and fell forward to bury his face in Loki’s hair as he tugged him ever closer. 

This wasn’t something that he could fix, he realized distantly. At least not overnight. 

This--This was a terror. A long avoided spectre that Loki had been fleeing from for far, far too long. 

And Thor…Thor, quite possibly, even certainly, did not have the answers he needed to solve this. Potentially did not possess even the resources he required, in order to get those answers. 

Regardless, he was certain of one fact, and one fact alone. 

Loki was his to protect. Even now, even after everything--

And Thor wasn’t going to waste that opportunity. Not again. 

With a sigh, Thor tugged his brother tighter against his side, and continued to rock the two of them when it seemed to quiet the soft, fearful whimpering that had begun to sound at the back of Loki’s throat. 

“Hush, now.” Thor murmured, and turned to place a firm kiss to the side of Loki’s head, inches above the blood still welling at his temple. “Hush. You’re alright.” 

“I--” Loki gasped, and tensed slightly before burrowing further against his side. “I--” 

“Hush.” Thor repeated, knowing for a fact he would get little more coherence from his brother, today. 

And still… 

There was one more bridge he needed to cross, he decided. One more conversation that could not be left unsaid. 

That thought in mind, Thor shifted so that Loki was rested again against his shoulder, his face visible again. 

At the movement, Loki’s features scrunched, though he did not verbally protest. 

Somehow, Thor did not think that he had much left within him to protest with. 

“Loki,” Thor murmured, and raised a hand to grasp at one of Loki’s wrists, his thumb automatically beginning to stroke at one of the sharp bones, there. 

And, though he remained silent, Thor could feel Loki’s eyes on the movement the entire time. 

There was a beat, before Thor moved to push the sleeve resting just above his hand up further, revealing the pale, smooth skin of Loki’s forearm. 

The barely-there, prickle of energy sparking beneath his fingers was more than enough to let Thor know that there was a glamour covering the skin there, though he decided to leave that conversation for another time, and instead opted to run one thumb firmly over the seemingly unblemished skin beneath his fingers. 

“Loki,” he muttered, loud enough that Loki’s eyes leapt to meet his own. “No more.” 

For a moment, Loki seemed to be considering playing ignorant, before he wilted slightly with a small, barely there huff of an exhale. 

“I mean it, Loki.” Thor continued, when it seemed that his brother was not going to offer a reply, and shook his wrist gently. “Don’t do this. _Never_ again.” 

Loki did not reply, and Thor did not think that he meant to. 

What, after all, could be said? 

“You can talk to me, you know.” Thor continued anyway, and began to rub his thumb lightly, soothingly along the skin of Loki’s forearm. “Always.” 

At the movement, Loki shuddered against his side, before slowly, almost hesitantly, moving so that his face was hidden back in the space between Thor’s neck and shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, again. 

And, this time, Thor merely sighed before tugging him closer. 

“It’s alright.” he whispered, and pressed another long kiss to Loki’s forehead as he moved his hand up to run it soothingly up to this shoulder, and down to his wrist. 

“It’s alright.” he repeated, when Loki trembled again, and repeated the motion. 

“We’ll fix this.”

**Author's Note:**

> back for part two !! so excited to be back to writing semi-regularly. i love these two ;-; 
> 
> (also, if y'all follow my [tumblr](http://littlekinng.tumblr.com) at all, you'll know that this was posted in a semi-tipsy state. that being said, i am posting without a beta, and all blatant mistakes are my own. but also i wrote this in a day so!! there's that)
> 
> thank you all so much for all the kudos/comments so far! they truly mean the world xx 


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